Previous generations mainly experienced productive shame, a form of competitive pressure that drove young people to differentiate themselves for social success, whether rightly or wrongly. But most often, this shame motivated risk-taking, skill development, and participation. Being bad at something was usually a temporary embarrassment that motivated improvement.
Gen Q experiences mostly destructive shame, characterised by shame around not performing correctly from the start, not having enough experience, and not meeting digital standards before attempting anything.
The result of this decline in participation is Digital Primacy, where digital experiences feel more real and valuable than physical ones. This is why 72% of Gen Q feel digital life is more real than physical life. They achieve recognition through online performance rather than offline skill development.
The reason is neurological: physical activities provide immediate, embodied feedback that can’t be edited or optimised. When you hit a tennis ball, your body knows immediately whether it worked. This creates resilience to failure that digital experiences can’t replicate. Online, everything can be retried, filtered, and perfected before sharing.
Theese numbers are indeed striking…
Teens involved in sports, dance, martial arts, or even casual hiking maintain 2.8 close friendships, compared to 1.4 for their sedentary peers.
Their digital primacy drops to 52% compared to 73% in the general population.
Gen Q doesn’t need another confidence boost; they need permission to be shit at things while figuring them out.